Travel Writer; Storyteller

Kava & Conversation

I clamber off the plane like a zombie, fatigued is an understatement. Back in my element, a temperature closer to 32C, landing in Nadi has me in rare form and I’m still pleasant despite my grumpy-ish attitude. I’m greeted by Fijian musicians strumming ukuleles, swaying to the melliferous beat and presented with a shell lei accompanied by a loud BULA-welcome in Fijian. I’ve got two hours to clear customs, baggage claim, register for a local sim and grab some local currency from the ATM before my tour starts; the usual routine.

A forty minute van ride and twenty minutes by boat delivers the small tour group to the twenty-five-acre coral island of Robinson Crusoe. Quick history recap for you: Robinson Crusoe was a European who sailed for land as an ocean explorer ahead of his time. He ran into the Fijian islands along the way, met the indigenous inhabitants, befriended them-one in particular-and went on to have dozens upon dozens of sea explorations. The island is quiet in anticipation for the night tour that arrives for the performance of Polynesian inspired fire dances, games, and the lovo; Fijian style of BBQ where fish (or other meats) are wrapped in banana leaves and steamed underground.

I’m the rarely encountered introverted version of myself on this leg of my journey. I’m hormonal, I’m emotional and what’s worse, overly tired. I remind myself how close I am to my independence—just two tours and three and a half weeks into the future— in my own space and a bed fashioned for an adult. I keep trying to snap myself out of it and interact with the other guests staying at the resort, but I relent and take a stroll on the opposite side, alone. My mother’s laugh is on repeat in my head along with the vocal reactions I know she’d be having if she was physically here with me. She loved island life as much as, if not more than, me.

Perched on a tree stump I watch the tide slowly roll in as the cool salty water collides with my bare toes. I wiggle down the side of the dead piece of tree protruding from the white sand to make hypothetical space for her spirit and for the first time in too long I talk to her out loud. I tell her about my recent successes and ask rhetorical questions in the direction of the rising sea. I dig my toes deeper into the sand and wait for the inevitable pull of the impatient waves to sink them even further. My phone dings having picked up a signal and break my solemn mindset as sporadic messages flash on my screen.

Nautilius shells line the beaches
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This place made me feel like family
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Female Polynesian dance
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Preparing to unveil the lovo
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Male fire dance performance

Back on the “mainland” of Nadi today and the designated route requires we travel from the West side of the island to the East. The itinerary promises a handful of cross-cultural activities, but all I can focus on is my jubilance at the thought of the drive providing me much needed time to sleep. In and out of deep sleep my head bobs in half circles as the bus takes bumps head-on with poor shocks. I grab eyefuls of thriving jungle with raised houses made of wood and tin dotting the horizon. Villages are referred to as communities each with a designated Chief. The freshly hung laundry billowing in the breeze is littered with contrasting patterns holding my attention as the various pieces dangle on the line against the bright blue or red hue of the homes just behind them.

Every face we pass is smiling and waving, yelling BULA (welcome) and wondering where I’m from. Not satisfied with my answer, California, they press me for the “truth” and I’m reminded of how frustrating this line of questioning is from my time spent in Eastern Europe. I explain that I’ve only recently stepped foot on the African continent and that natural hairstyles are popular amongst Black people around the world. The women smile, the men stare, and I nod as I keep moving through the produce shop. We’re to meet the chief of Nasautoka Village for a proper kava ceremony known as Sevusevu. Both men and women must cover their shoulders and legs yet it’s men who run the ceremony itself. Gender-specific roles are still widely accepted and supported on the islands and the Sevusevu is no exception as one of the most sacred of traditions of the culture.

Only males can mix and serve the kava to guests. Women can do so only when there’s no male present in the tribal circle. Women accept smaller portions of the chalky beverage presented in a coconut shell and must not drink from the same shell as the men. Hypersensitive to the gender division in the room I observe the change of kava cup as it’s presented to the men in our group then switched out for a different shell for the women, but say nothing. I’m grateful for the cultural exchange, understanding that these divisions in gender are indeed cultural here and are respected as such even in this day and age, all the while making silent prayers of hope for the progression of equality on a global scale.

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Kava root is either made into a powder or soaked for days in water to make the ceremonial drink
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Sevusevu in Nasautoka Village
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Hiked through the jungle to a waterfall on the mainland                                                           BELOW: 7 chamber historical snake cave visit

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Nautical now and serenaded by Roo Panes in my earbuds, I feel my mind relax. Construction workers wave from the mainland as the vessel ferries me to Bounty Island; one of the dozens in the Mamanuca string of islands off the coast of Nadi. I walk the perimeter of the island when I arrive seeking silence and nature and am rewarded with bloodthirsty swarms of mosquitos that force me to quicken my step as they attack in pairs of four or five. Protection or no, these insects never hesitate to attach themselves to my person leaving my skin swollen and itchy.

Storm clouds sit low above the ocean threatening a downpour, metaphoric for the storm brewing in my heart. Disappointing the better part of my judgment I give power to an emotion I thought I’d wrangled into the dark corners of my mind long ago and paralyze my enjoyment as a consequence. With tired eyes, I lay indoors-the cool air offering the only reprieve from the constant biting of mosquitos-when three dorm mates approach, introduce themselves and insist I join them for dinner being served in ten minutes. I hesitate, but relent and become the fourth in their entourage.

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Bounty Island
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Enticing walks lead to beautiful egresses

 

We are a mixed salad of diversity representing Italy, the U.K., Belgium and the U.S. We share the definitions of our tattoos and travel routes we’ve taken through the islands over pineapple flavored Fanta, an island favorite, before joining the staff for kava in the bar. Outwardly, I appear to be enjoying myself-a coping mechanism or a victor at masquerading, can’t tell which. I’m an emotional mess trapped in an internal argument, once again, about what’s lacking and my purpose. I’m reaching for my Mother’s advice and guidance and fighting back tears. I look away from the group in anticipation of the tears threatening to spill over and a rainbow appears out over the ocean in my line of sight. I gasp at the timing, pause, and hiccup as the tears fall. I see her smiling face in the arched color display and feel an immediate calm, an understanding that it will all be okay. That I will be okay.

Conversation creating instant friendships as the group mingles with the local staff discussing the relevance of consuming, the challenges of a backpackers life, how little the employees of these resort islands get to see their families and the plans for this island to be renovated into a four-star resort next year. With each new bowl of kava, I release my tension, giving it away generously while caught in this cross-cultural experience. Empathetic to my mood and the excitement of the group, the kava bowl, known as a vesi, is filled with fresh water. The kava root, crushed into a powder, is poured into a numinous sack, which we’ve taken to calling the kava sock, submerged and rung out repeatedly in the water until it turns a dirty brown. I’m served the first cup and I return the gesture with a smile. I take the cup, down it, smile again and say BULA-customary-before handing it over to be refilled and given to the next person. He holds my gaze a moment then nods smiling with his whole face. This unspoken exchange is an invitation to my soul to let go. To enjoy this moment, to be fully present, to be here now.

VINAKA!

Bag Lady (besides being the title of a great song by one of my favorite female artists) has always been a term of endearment for my style of travel-always carrying too much. Over packing synonymous with my first name. One friend would joke, "if I could hear you coming down the hallway, bag lady!" Another replies with disbelief and hysterical laughter when I proudly proclaim that I successfully packed one 'carry on' sized bag for a two week adventure. Obviously organized, structured and planner are frequent adjectives to describe me. And I genuinely agree unapologetically that these three elements help keep me balanced in life. That is until well...life, or the opposite actually. Consider what it might be like to have the earth shatter from under your feet like a dropped egg plummeting to the ground helpless to its demise, bringing you to an abrupt halt and leaving you in a million pieces from the fall. Yea... that's what it felt like when my Mother, life coach, and best friend in life and all things international travel, took suddenly ill and passed away while I was serving my country overseas in the U.S. Peace Corps. Both my Grandmother and my Mother, the two rocks in my unruly stream of life, taught me that positivity and laughter go a long way. The harsh reality that nothing really goes "according to plan", however, left me ambivalent about what I'm called to be and who I was shaped to be and ultimately pitted my mind against my heart. After I lost her none of the "plans" we'd made were to come to fruition. In the months after her passing I would ask myself some tough questions-as I do- and encounter a profound silence in response. Over time one solitary word would come to me from the saddest place in my heart, GO! So I will.. Now I travel to feel her. To find her in the smiling face of humanity. To keep moving forward with my journey of being a positive change in peoples lives through cross cultural experiences and adventure in places I never thought I'd be inclined to go! Meeting my own travel goals while meeting the truth that time and letting go of all the bags I carry will heal my shattered heart while helping me plant my two feet back on solid ground.

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